Underwear in the kitchen

So the other day when I went into the kitchen I find a pair of my underwear (granny panties) in the kitchen floor.  My 2 year old apparently decided to carry them around the house and then deposit them there in the kitchen floor.  I guess it's really my fault, though.  You see, since having my third child I haven't exactly kept my house looking.....clean.  And if I'm really being honest I have never been the best housekeeper.  Before my husband and I had kids I did manage to keep things picked up a little more.

Now I look around my house in my sleep deprived daze and just think, "what the hell happened here?!?!".  When did my children completely take over my house.  I'm pretty sure the toys in this house are all getting it on at night after the lights go out and breeding new toys.  I have tried to get rid of things but somehow the damn toys crawl out of the trash and back onto the floor when I'm not looking.

I mean come on.  Why is it that children feel the need to relocate everything in the house right into the middle of the floor?  Don't they know they should keep the house spotless!  In my dreams my house is flawless.  No toys on the floor, hell no toys at all in the house.  I even went so far as to institute a clutter jail box that I found online one day.  Well I started off really good and it worked for about a week.  But with those damn horny-ass toys procreating all the time the kids don't even care if a toy or two make it into clutter jail.   They just find something else to play with and sometimes even tell me they don't care.

Ahhhhhhh!  I guess for now my house is just going to be a big crap hole filled with all the crap my kids have and underwear in the kitchen floor or I'll have to give/throw it away when no one is looking!  Or maybe I'll just drink wine and stop caring!