Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The grass is greener....or is it?

Today I'm really feeling down!!  I just quit my part-time job.  I am a nurse and have been for the past almost 8 years.  I took time off after my first son was born and then decided to go back to work part-time.  At the same time I found out I was pregnant with my second son.  I continued to work throughout my pregnancy and though there were days I didn't want to be working while I was at work...there were also days I wanted to be working when I was at home.

Why do I alwasy think the grass is greener on the other side.  I really do love nursing, but I love staying home with my boys as well.  In the end I love staying home with my boys more, but there is still a part of me that feels like something is missing.  I don't feel like I'm contributing to my family (an yes, I know that's crazy too!), but I just can't help but think that I'm making a mistake giving up my job.  Being a mom is so hard (if you're doing it right I think) and I hate being away from my babies.  At the same time, it's also nice to get away sometimes. 

Is anyone out there?  Does anyone relate??  Why do we as moms put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect and do everything and sacrifice our own happiness???  Confused today!!

Monday, April 18, 2011

Bedtime

Bedtime...it's that wonderful time of day when you finally begin to see the light.  Baths, teeth brushing and story reading.  A peaceful transition in the  house as things become quiet.......NOT!

In my house it's not always so peaceful.  Anyone who has had a 2 year old knows they can at times be defiant.  Add in a new baby and let's just say there can be anything but peace in the house.  Bath time usually goes pretty well expect for the baby crying in the his bouncy seat and by the time I chase down my 2 year old and take his clothes off while he's kicking and screaming I'm pretty tired.  I don't know why he can't just remember that he has fun and gets to play in the bath....no he has to say, "NO" a thousand times and try every trick in the book to get out of it.  Hince the reason my newborn is crying by the time I finally get his brother in the bath.  If only he saw things the way I did he would jump right in the bath without a fight (and in a perfect world wash himself)...I can dream can't I!  After bath it putting on pj's and brushing teeth, then story time.  Hubby is usually still at work so all this is a fight I have to do on my own.  After a few stories and stalling techniques I leave my first born in his room to fall asleep by himself.  Usually there's lots of crying at the door and pleading for one thing or another.  As time has passed I have become stronger and only occasionally go back to comfort him.  What I can't figure out is why he can't figure out that bedtime is bedtime and he's not going to get out of it.  One day I will be able to tell him all about his bedtime behavior and he might even tell me he's sorry when he has children that do the same to him.  Don't get me wrong, he does sometimes go right on to sleep without any trouble and the length of the crying has decreased quite a bit.  But I'm looking forward to the day when there is no struggle at all.  Of course by that time I will probably miss the calls for, "MOMMY."  It's nice to be wanted.

What do your kids do at bedtime?

Beginning

Where to start?  It's funny to think sometimes that just a few years ago I was a single gal without children.  I now have a wonderful husband and two beautiful boys, one 2 years old and one 2 months old.  To say this is a busy time in my life would be an under-statement.  Would I change it.....not a chance. 

Being a mommy has given me such an appreciation of my own mother.  I know now how she must have felt raising me, and believe me I know I wasn't the easiest kid to raise.  I was, and still am, a very stubborn girl.  I like things my way.  You get a feeling for what it's like to not have your way once your get married, but having kids is a totally different thing. I can't just sleep in anymore or watch T.V. when I want.  Now I have tol worry about what's on the T.V. that the kids might see and listen out for crying babies down the hall.  While I used to stay up late because I wanted to (usually out with friends or watching movies or working night shift as a nurse), now 9pm sounds like a good bedtime to me.  If only my kids thought so too.  I dream of the day I can sleep in late and no longer fall asleep trying to watch a movie with my husband at 8pm on the rare night that I've actually gotten both kids to fall asleep early.  It's funny how the simple things become so important after you have a child.

Interuption......my littliest is now crying....to be continued....any thoughts out there.  I love to hear what other mothers are thinking and what they are going through on a daily basis.